It's Allgood People

A discussion with frequent HumorQ Winner Joey Allgood... 

So, you’re a HumorQ champion.  To what do you credit such an impressive sense of humor?

My wife is my harshest critic, so I’m under constant pressure to meet her standard of funny. Once while we were dating, I uttered a mediocre pun and spent the next month sleeping on the couch. We weren’t even living together!

Do you have some sort of ritual that you do that helps you submit champion caliber captions?

I usually log in pretty early in the day and see what the new caption is, then maul it over in my head for a while until I come up with something that makes me laugh. That should be everyone’s barometer of funniness.

Are there certain people you’d like to approach and say “Remember that day you said I wasn’t funny?  Well my humorq is (fill in your humorq here)” ?

There’s a couple, but it would be in poor taste to gloat and mock at this point. Does that make me a better person than Elisha Allgood or Russ Clinton? I’ll let you decide.

Let’s say you realized a tiny goat family has been living in the glove compartment of your car, what would you say to them?

Nothing. I’d let the vacuum do the talking.

Fair is fair.  Do you have a question for me?

Nope, I have two. Is there a way to provide an edit option on a caption you submitted on that day? I get why editing your caption after it’s been voted on would be a bad idea, but sometimes you misspell a word or think of a funnier way to phrase something. Also, would it be possible to add an option to add bold, italics, underlines, etc. to captions?

Yes there’s a way.  But you asked two questions so I can’t help you until some penalty period passes.

In case you happen to write one liner jokes too, what (tasteful) one liner joke of yours would you like me to try out for you at my next open mic visit? (which I would put on youtube so you could see if it worked)

I’m just curious, does anyone here know if bulimics prefer finger food?

Joey, you should be ashamed.  Bulimic finger jokes are in ‘bad taste’.

Is there another website (besides HumorQ.com where we put a number on how funny people are), that you would like the world to know about?

Sure! My lovely and talented wife helped set up a place for me to put my creations (mostly caption wins and fake news articles at the moment)… it’s at https://joeyallgood.wordpress.com/

Finally, is there anything else you would like to share with the people learning about HumorQ? 

If you’re anything like me when I first joined, the first few weeks were brutal. Give it time and don’t lose heart. It takes a while familiarize yourself with the type of entries that win. Scroll through past winners and get a feel for the kind of humor voters appreciate. And above all, BE PATIENT! There are a lot of talented captioneers out there. Just when you think you’ve written a “sure thing”, people like Cary Antebi, Rita Welegala, and Ted Rivera will come up with something that makes you embarrassed by what you submitted. And if you think you deserved a name check in the previous sentence, win next month’s contest and prove me wrong… :)

An Interview with Our August Champion - Ashley Schweiger

So, you’re a HumorQ champion.  To what do you credit such an impressive sense of humor?

My dad and Husband. They are the masters of puns and dancing. 

I'm not familiar with pun dancing but it sounds incredibly entertaining.  I'm smelling new reality TV show.

Do you have some sort of ritual that you do that helps you submit champion caliber captions?

I drink a Pepsi, crack my fingers and type whatever comes to mind.

Are there certain people you’d like to approach and say “Remember that day you said I wasn’t funny?  Well my humorq is (fill in your humorq here)” ?

Oh yeah. I can’t wait to tell my brother. He said I would never be as funny as our dad. I don’t see my dad with the title of HumorQ Champion. Don’t worry, I rubbed it in my dad’s face. And my husband’s.

Let’s say you realized a tiny goat family has been living in the glove compartment of your car, what would you say to them?

Well that would explain the funny smell....I would ask if this was the new entryway to Narnia.

Fair is fair.  Do you have a question for me?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

There's that GEICO commercial now I think with the woodchucks actually chucking wood, so we're closer to the answer with them being caught on film but there's probably no end to it really.  It's like asking how much jibberish could I type.

Is there another website (besides HumorQ.com where we put a number oh how funny people are), that you would like the world to know about?

Well there’s a site called reddit, and it has a bunch of subreddits such as Funny, Jokes, Humor. You can submit stuff and get karma.

Finally, is there anything else you would like to share with the people learning about HumorQ?  

Don’t try to hard. If you can’t think of a caption just walk away. Or close the tab. 

Personally I think trying too hard is exactly what you should do, and never close the tab.  Just short of cranial explosion is when I would give up....but that's just me.

Newest HumorQ Caption Prototype Accdentally Left In Bar

In what appears to be a complete breakdown of caption security a HumorQ.com member has claimed to have left a bar in Austin Texas while failing to retain the cartoon caption prototype he had been working on for the latest contest.  The HumorQ member wished to remain anonymous but had this to say.

"I had the cartoon in my head all day.  There were some mediocre captions that came to my head, but we're talking humorq scores of 110, 120 at the most.  Then, right as I'm finishing my first Mexican martini, it came to me.  I jotted it down on my napkin.  And then I guess I just left it there like a suitcase that should have been handcuffed to my wrist.  I'm just beside myself.  Not in a there's me, and there's another me right here kind of way.  I mean I'm upset.  The caption had something about an anchor and a three dollar calculator, but that's all I remember.  I know it was at least a humorq of 180, and now it's gone."

Skeptics believe this could be an intentional copycat leak to try and stir excitement about the caption contest at http://humorq.com .  Whatever.


 

Introducing July's HumorQ Champion - Janet Williams

So, you’re a HumorQ champion.  To what do you credit such an impressive sense of humor?

I have a very dry sense of humor and I rarely laugh out loud. I attribute this to my upbringing in an extended family full of folks who use satire, irony and snideness (is that a word?) in their everyday language. It’s our family’s way of showing affection.

Do you have some sort of ritual that you do that helps you submit champion caliber captions?

Staring at the monitor until something comes to me, discarding the obvious caption (usually the first thing that comese to me) and waiting for something not so predictable to come into my head. Sometimes this is an excruciating experience.

Are there certain people you’d like to approach and say “Remember that day you said I wasn’t funny?  Well my humorq is (fill in your humorq here)” ?

Not really, but I have enjoyed telling my older sister Gayle Williams that I have had the winning caption on so many occasions. She is a new HumorQ contributor and has recently had two winning captions in less than a week. She is a formidable opponent.(And, by the way, is the only person who has ever beat me at Trivial Pursuit.)

Let’s say you realized a tiny goat family has been living in the glove compartment of your car, what would you say to them?

“So that’s what happened to my auto insurance verification card!”

Fair is fair.  Do you have a question for me?

Are you planning any modifications to the website? It would be nice, for example, to be able to have an archive of winning entries.

I have many big ideas.  I also plan to organize the garage.  Right now,  I'm going to make a sandwich.  Actually I'm hopeful further development efforts will be picking up very soon.

Is there another website (besides HumorQ.com where we put a number oh how funny people are), that you would like the world to know about?

I love www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com and for the adults in the crowd, http://textsfromlastnight.com.

Finally, is there anything else you would like to share with the people learning about HumorQ?  

“Funny” is in the mind of the reader. Some prefer cornpone humor; others get a kick out of puns. I’m not a fan of sophomoric humor but I realize there are a lot of folks who laugh at loud at what I consider “teenage idiocy.” For me, HumorQ is not about being the funniest; it’s about challenging myself to be creative every day.

CBS Recognizes Me for Fourth Time

Probably many of you don't realize that while I created HumorQ because I wanted to play the most ultimately fair caption contest, that I don't actually play HumorQ myself.  After all, I'm the database programmer, and I could cheat.  The day will come when I can hand the programming over and then I will play and see how well I do.  I need to warn you though.  I've just been validated for the 4th time in CBS.com's late show Top Ten Contest ...

Ladies and Gentlemen. HumorQ Champion, Dustin Gettel

So, you’re a HumorQ champion. To what do you credit such an impressive sense of humor? 

I fully credit the success I've achieved at HumorQ to my steady diet of inexpensive government cheese and boxed wine. 

Do you have some sort of ritual that you do that helps you submit champion caliber captions?

Well, I get to work around 8:30 every morning, and by 8:32 I'm at HumorQ.com thinking about the latest caption contest. After my second cup of coffee and some additional non work-related web browsing, the captions normally come to me in an unsteady haze of caffeine and Baileys Irish Cream. 

I should ask if you're still working.  Anyway, are there certain people you’d like to approach and say "Remember that day you said I wasn’t funny? Well my humorq is (fill in your humorq here)"?

Pretty much every teacher I've ever had from kindergarten through college made it clear (some more abundately than others) that my humor was not appreciated in their classrooms. Head teachers and principals frequently got involved.

Let’s say you realized a tiny goat family has been living in the glove compartment of your car, what would you say to them?

Do you see my insurance card and registration in there anywhere? This cop looks pretty mad.

Fair is fair. Do you have a question for me?  

I have one question and a related follow-up: What percentage of submitted captions actually make you laugh, and do you have a favorite all-time submission?

I don't ever laugh because people already think I'm a bit off. A couple html tags short of a working web page some say.  But there's a number of them I secretly enjoy.  One of my recent favorites was the guy staring at the clothes dryer, and Avis Rawlinson's winning caption... "Alvin suddenly had the urge to see what he´d look like after a  "fluff" cycle."  What a great place for Avis's brain to go.  That was awesome.

Is there another website (besides HumorQ.com where we put a number on how funny people are), that you would like the world to know about? 

Well, surprisingly, there is. My friend and I write a professional wrestling blog and would love to shamelessly promote it here, thanks: www.invertedatomicblog.com.

Finally, is there anything else you would like to share with the people learning about HumorQ? 

Please don't let the glamour of becoming a HumorQ champion ruin you. Sure, the weekly champagne parties and private jets are nice, but your soul will soon become bitter and empty ... until you fill it with more government cheese.

Another Champ Interview - Meet Chris Rowen

So, you’re a HumorQ champion.  To what do you credit such an impressive sense of humor?

 

Low expectations

Do you have some sort of ritual that you do that helps you submit champion caliber captions?

 I start with a dictionary and gradually erase all the words that aren’t funny

Are there certain people you’d like to approach and say “Remember that day you said I wasn’t funny?  Well my humorq is (fill in your humorq here)” ?

Well, let’s just say that my wife’s cat will never hear the end of this.

Let’s say you realized a tiny goat family has been living in the glove compartment of your car, what would you say to them?

There’s much more space in the trunk.

Fair is fair.  Do you have a question for me?

When you sell your site to AOL / Huffington Post for a billion dollars, can all contributors sue you for unfair labor practices, or just us past champions?

I'm hoping you all sue me.  I will insist your cases be heard in HumorQ order for which AOL / Huff post will agree to restore my pre-litigation fortune.  As Yukon Cornelius said many times "We'll all be rich!!!" .

Finally, is there anything else you would like to share with the people learning about HumorQ? 

Once you learn the HumorQ champions’ secret handshake and see the clubhouse, you will realize that it’s worth the effort.